The Poetics of an Odd (wo) Man out

It is always important to know when something has reached its end.
Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it;
What matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.
-- Paulo Coelho

Here's to reaching my dreams, good health for my family and friends, finding (and feeling) love in spite of pain, seeing the goodness of other people, happiness amidst setbacks, acceptance over things I can't change, strength to move on and courage to begin another journey...

Thank you God for another year :)

In anything and everything else, the best remedy is still acceptance. I try so hard to be indifferent over things/people thinking that it's the safest way to go. But I'm wired in such a way that I care too much so it's really hard for me not to bother. And through time, I learned that apathy can only deepen the pain and prolong the misery. Acceptance, on the other hand, maybe me painful at first but it can help you to move forward.

Apathy kasi parang pain-reliever lang. It temporarily numbs you but the pain is still there. While acceptance, mahaba-habang proceso parang theraphy pero surebol magaling ka na after.

At the end of the day, it's better to accept things as they are, hope for the best, pray that things will fall in its right place and let go.

Let go.

Easy to say but it's really best to face things head on rather than kill it through indifference, which in the process may also kill your soul.

Image taken somewhere from the Net.

I know what I want to be and where I want to go but some thing's stopping me: fear. I guess that's the thing about getting old, you are afraid to take risks since you're more focus on stability, at least to me.

I want to pursue a career in travel writing but I know that it doesn't pay well.I want to study literature again but that not's going to land me any stable job aside from the academe. I want to do various voluntary works and feel that I'm doing something bigger than just making money but I also want to help my parents, financially speaking.

And now that I'm a year older, I feel more than ever that time is running out for me. If I don't move now and pursue my dreams, I'll be left behind. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for what I have and where I am right now it's just that I'm not happy anymore.

I remembered the character in the book, "The Alchemist" who is so good in making crystal glasses that for some time he forgot his personal dream and slowly the universe stops speaking to him and giving him signs. But eventually, he realized that even if he is okay in the crystal business that's not his personal dream.

I can feel that the universe is speaking to me.

But why am I not listening?

I've seen the signs.

I met people who show me to be brave and ran after my goals.

I know that now is the time to jump off my comfort zone and live my dreams.

But why can't I take the first move?


God, help me.

after x number of years, nakita ko rin ang ilan sa mga HS friends ko. Dati rati kasi di ako nakakapunta sa mga reunions namin dahil busy at walang pera. Pero now, thanks to myra and frich ayan nagkaroon ng chance para magmeet kami kahit pa gaano ka-busy. Kahit anim lang kami (Myra, Frich, julius, cecil, Kim at ako) sobrang saya-saya, parang walang nagbago at parang hindi taon ang binilang ng aming di pagkikita-kita.

Venue: Gerry's grill, lunch time. siyempre unang dumating ang cecil na tinambangan ako sa CR nung nakita niya na umalis ako dun sa venue. Sabi niya hinanap niya pa talaga ang kanyang salamin para lang makisigurado na ako nga yun. Tapos late-late ang drama ng ibang lola (as usual late si kimberly) hehehe.. si julius ay galing pa sa kanyang dentist gig sa SM fairview din. At dahil dentista na siya (at may bangs), binigyan niya kami ng tig-isang set ng toothbrush, toothpaste, pang-dila (di ko lam kung ano tawag dun) si kimberly naman mega-promote ng Dayo with matching pamigay ng Dayo calendars dahil yung sister niya na si katrina aka hopia ang nagboses kay mananangurl. Choz

nakakatuwa kasi naloloka kami dahil feeling namin ang tanda na namin dahil ang pinag-uusapan na namin ay trabaho, pera at kung ano ano pa samantalang dati yung crush, HWs at nakakainis na teacher lang ang topics namin. May mga revelations din tungkol sa mga kabatch namin kung ano na nangyari sa kanila. Yung iba nga sa kwinekwento nila hindi na namin kilala ni Kim..

Masaya ang tangahalian except sa ma-asukal na sago't gulaman. Grabe sobrang tamis. Then after Gerry's and some paktyur taking, nag-starbucks kami kung san nakita namin si edison (isang batchmate)..

Kahit pala gaano kayo katagal magkahiwalay ng iyong mga kaibigan, pag tunay ang pagkakaibigan at samahan na mayron kayo, walang nagbabago. Ganun pa rin. Itsura niyo lang ang nagbabago pero hindi ang iyong samahan. labyu HS friends :)

Gradskul join GK
Study abroad

more time for loved ones
lose weight
travel writing

read neil gaiman's works

buy koreanovela bike

go to Vigan, Batanes and Sagada

reinvent onself

read postmodern classics

write as much as I can

love unconditionally

driving lessons
pottery lessons

UB quest

buy star-like lamps in Gateway

wear gurly stuff and be mahinhin (goodluck)

pursue career plans

reconnect with classmates

more patience and less worry

take TOEFEL

time for self

I just told my friend to leave her no-so loyal boyfriend for good. I don't know if its the right thing to say, but i told her anyway. I even cited what Uncle Bob (from UB) said about loyalty being an important factor in one's relationship.

Pero siyempre ano bang alam ko sa love...