The Poetics of an Odd (wo) Man out

While Mayee was washing her tumblers last Friday she asked what were my plans this Halloween and I told her none. Baffled, she asked again if we're not visiting any relatives graves and I told her that my family is going to visit my lolo and lola's graves. Then she narrated that if his younger brother were alive, he could have been 21 years old now. This conversation suddenly made me remember my dead sister. If she were alive, she could have been 24 turning 25 years old next January. Actually, Angelina,(my sister's name) and I were both born on the same year. It's just that she was born January and I was born December. After she died, my mother became pregnant again after two months, hence i was created.

This just makes me wonder, what my sister is like if she was here instead of me. My nanay usually told me that if my sister were alive, I wouldn't probably been created or something. I wondered, what my sister looks like, is she talkative, modest,tall, thin, chubby,kind, friendly? I wondered, if she can make a difference and make this world a little bit better? nope. i'm not wallowing here or having self-pity moments, just plain curious. But i guess there's a reason why I am here instead of her, I believe I'm here because I have a specific role that the universe wants me to fulfill. I am here because I have to make a difference. I am here to touch people's lives. I am here because i was meant to be here.