The Poetics of an Odd (wo) Man out

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

~got this poem here

Kahapon nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon makilala at makasama kahit sa sandaling panahon ang mga bata sa Asilo de San Vicente de Paul. Kasama ang ilang officemates at sa panguguna ni Chris ay bumisita, nakihalobilo, nakilaro ng hephep hurray, tao-bahay-bagyo at picture frame, nakipag-usap, nakicheer, nakisayaw, at nakipagtawanan kami sa mga bata.

Sa hapon na yun, naging ate at kuya rin kami sa mahigit 37 na bata. Bakas sa mga mukha nila ang kagalakan na makita kami. Isa si Mylene at Matet sa mga batang nakilala ko dun. Si matet (11 years old) ay binomba ako ng mga slambook questions like ilan taon na ako, anong grade ko na (sinabi ko kasi 13 years old lang ako... di ko sinabi ito ay noon taon 1998 pa.. hehe). Masayahin na bata si matet at madaldal din siya kasi kahit kakakilala pa lang namin nagkwekwento siya at nakikipagkulitan. Ganun din si Ashley na nagkwento ng tungkol sa kanyang field trip at school. Si Mylene naman, 16 years old ay dating tumira sa may Maligaya (isang lugar malapit sa'min) kaya medyo can relate kami sa fairview stories.

Nag-umpisa ang hapon sa 'cheering competition' kung saan pinakita ni JM at ng group three ang kanilang natatagong talento sa pag-move it move it.. Matapos ang cheering naglaro naman kami ng mga games. Mayroon din hephep hurray game kung saan una akong nasibak. Tapos tsibugan at marami pang kwentuhan...

bago natapos ang hapon, dalawang sayaw ang inihandog ng mga bata sa'min. Umawit din sila ng thank you and nagpasalamat samin. Natouch ako dun sa sinabi nung isang bata, na kung gaano namin sila napasaya at nagpapasalamat siya na kahit gaano kami ka-busy ay nakapunta kami sa Asilo. Sinabi pa niya na kahit isang beses lang namin sila makakasama ay habang buhay na kami magiging parte ng buhay nila.


Sa totoo lang, ako pa yung napasaya at na-touch ng mga bata sa Asilo. although siyempre sana din sa maliit na paraan ko ay natouch ko kahit papano sila. And kahit ilan oras ko lang sila nakasama, masasabi ko na magiging parte na sila ng buhay ko.

Isang learning experience ang Asilo lalo na sa tulad ko na may qualms sa world at sa buhay buhay. Na-realized ko na dapat kahit anong mga pagsubok or estado ko sa buhay, dapat lagi akong maging positibo at may pag-asa. Ayan ang tinuro sa kin ng mga bata. Kung tutuusin sila pa ang may karapatan maging abs bitter herbs sa buhay pero pag nakita mo sila, mararamdaman mo na sobrang positive at masaya sila.

Nakakatuwa sila kasi sobrang grateful sila sa aming pagbisita at talagang winelcome nila kami at tinuring na parang ate at kuya.

Sana makabalik pa ako sa Asilo :)

PS Salamat kay Chris na nag-imbita samin.. next time ulit :)