The Poetics of an Odd (wo) Man out

Or maybe not.

Somewhere along this lifetime, we heard people say that everything even shit, happens for a reason. There’s a strange feeling of relief in knowing that something good will come out, eventually, in the end. It makes acceptance a lot easier. Or maybe not.

When painful things transpire, your brain keeps shooting questions at you. Endless questions of whys and hows until you get tired of questioning and answering everything and just shrugged the whole thing as experience, another-lesson-learned-for-me-send-by-the-universe.

But do you really fully grasp the lesson brought about by any intense experience? (By intense, I mean, something that takes you to the very edge of your being; something that shook and maybe even debunk everything you believe in) Do you honestly take with you lessons from experience god or just thought you did by masking it with cautiousness so that absolutely no one and nothing can mess you up again. Never again.

Until one day, the universe decides to play with you just to see if you essentially learned anything from previous experience/s. It’s all mindfuckin’ thing. You’re suck again to this vortex of events and whirlwind of emotions. Even if you know the scent of this familiar pain and the landscape of this whole experience (with its maze of possible outcomes), you find yourself lost and helpless. At the end of the day, you still dive towards the seemingly unknown terrain, not of course to learn anything but to feel the joy of being alive. This may sound ‘masochistic’ but it’s not. People choose to feel the whole pain experience because that’s what makes them so burning with life. Yes, there’s always a tinge of remorse, once in a while, but there's also an actualization, a redeeming factor (that may take a lot of time and introspection) that everything, absolutely everything happens for a reason and for that alone, we are or I am eternally grateful to the universe or to the Higher Power.

Or maybe not.