The Poetics of an Odd (wo) Man out

I hate the fact that I'm loveless, BF-less, and the feeling that nobody seems to think that my existence is special to say the least. There's this cousin of mine, who wants to do "reto-reto" and somehow I'm pissed. I don't know why. Maybe, I'm not yet open to these experiences or I just hate it that someone is making me feel that I'm incapable of finding my maan (mahal) thru the reto stuff. I also hate it that the guy has some sort of expectations and the vibes that he wants to see me badly and he's really interested. Why should he? He doesn't know me enough to say that I'm interesting. It's just BS.

The guy also wants to go to our house and visit me there. WHY?!!!!!! for goodness' sake. I just don't get it. It's just macho thingie for me and not respect as they often say. See, if a guy wants to go to your house that means he has good intentions. I don't think so. If there's someone I'll bring to our home and introduce to my parents, that would be my life partner, not just some random guy that my cousin introduced to me.

I'm also pissed with my cousin. He acts as though I need to have a BF now because it's not good to end up as an old maid. He thinks that being married is the greatest fulfillment in this world. Of course, I do want to marry someday but I want to achieve my dreams first and really know myself.

I do want to have a lovelife and I don't want to end up as a spinster but I'd rather find "the love of my life" on my own and through different ways. But not like this. Not now.

Image from here.

Today, I feel so happy and optimistic (which rarely happens nowadays, by the way) that nothing and no one can destroy the good mood.

***

Each time my friend Justine and I talked about our "European dream," my heart is pounding nonstop and my head is reeling with many future scenarios out of excitement for the possibility that this dream will happen in time. (soon, sana). I know some people might view this as "ambisyosa" (ambitious) pero paki nila, pangarap ko to sa buhay at kahit ano mangyari, paglalaban ko to. woot!

I'll make it happen, someday.

God, help me.

Lately, I find myself falling more and more in love with traveling.There's just something refreshing and eye-opening as you go to other places. I think it makes you aware that the world is a really really big place with various people and culture. Plus you get to learn new things not only about history-related stuff but also about yourself.

Every travel is a journey to one's self.

Whenever I read travel blogs like this, I feel inspired to spend my saved money, pack my bag and go somewhere. I already made "plans" (yes, me, who doesn't even plan anything at all is trying to plan)to concretize this dream like save money (of course), which will be strictly spend for travel purposes only, try finding affordable tour packages and lastly tumaya sa lotto (baka swertehin at manalo ako!). I also thought that I should explore Philippines first before going to other countries.

So far, in the last six months, I've only been to Zambales and Sagada. If things go well, my sister and I will go to Bohol by October or November.

Hopefully, in the coming years, I get to see more places around the globe, meet new people and learn more cultures.

The secret.......

Image taken somewhere from the net

I'm so glad Kris Allen won... normally I wouldn't blog something like this but I don't want to let this moment pass without writing it down or something. I just remembered last year, when David Cook won, I was planning to blog it until I eventually forgot it. So, I don't want that to happen again.this time.

Kudos to Kris Allen!

......with the seemingly endless zigzag road, the race to get inside Dagupan bus, the greenery scenes of pine trees and abounding mountains, the scary ravine, the 12-hour journey, the long hike down the breathtaking rice terraces, the enormous Bomod-ok waterfalls and the feel of ice cold water entering your body, the cool mist, the slippery rocks along Lumiang Cave, the various shapes of rock formations in Sumaging Cave, the rappel in between solid rocks, the whole spelunking adventure, the fear and courage felt while inside the cave,the bat shit scattered across the caves, the bittersweet taste of cat shit coffee (Alamid,) the hot lemon pie, the delicious yogurt and pasta at Yoghurt house, the hanging coffins and its culture, the church with its broken flower-shaped windows, the rusty bell near the church and its history, anecdotes behind Echo valley, bonfire tradition and the cemetery, our humble abode courtesy of George’s guesthouse, the warm and accommodating people, our superb tour guides: Kuya Perry and Kuya Enzo, various people we encountered along the way, friends who are game for every adventure (Marco, Obet, Jerz and Mark), the spontaneous planned/unplanned itinerary, every first experience and the feeling of happiness and complete freedom from life’s stresses that is Sagada.

I want to go back there. Someday...

the majestic rice terraces...

ang mga TNL na nagpasaya ng buong trip...