The Poetics of an Odd (wo) Man out

I know what I want to be and where I want to go but some thing's stopping me: fear. I guess that's the thing about getting old, you are afraid to take risks since you're more focus on stability, at least to me.

I want to pursue a career in travel writing but I know that it doesn't pay well.I want to study literature again but that not's going to land me any stable job aside from the academe. I want to do various voluntary works and feel that I'm doing something bigger than just making money but I also want to help my parents, financially speaking.

And now that I'm a year older, I feel more than ever that time is running out for me. If I don't move now and pursue my dreams, I'll be left behind. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for what I have and where I am right now it's just that I'm not happy anymore.

I remembered the character in the book, "The Alchemist" who is so good in making crystal glasses that for some time he forgot his personal dream and slowly the universe stops speaking to him and giving him signs. But eventually, he realized that even if he is okay in the crystal business that's not his personal dream.

I can feel that the universe is speaking to me.

But why am I not listening?

I've seen the signs.

I met people who show me to be brave and ran after my goals.

I know that now is the time to jump off my comfort zone and live my dreams.

But why can't I take the first move?


God, help me.