The Poetics of an Odd (wo) Man out

Every time this TV ad shows up, I feel a mixed sensation of envy and hope.

As some of you already know, I always wanted to go to Spain and study Literature there. I always imagined myself studying there,traveling, writing and very happy that I concretize my dream, which some people including my parents thought as crazy and impossible.

You see I didn't study Spanish just so I can take revenge on my Spanish prof in college who makes us sing tierra adorada and recite three different prayers in Spanish and who probably says mean things to me in Spanish when she caught me spacing out during class. (At that time, I couldn't go to the CR because I don't know how to say "ma, may I go out?" )This is usually my press release to my college friends who hated our Spanish subject because of our professor. I told them that one day I'll go back to our school and talk to professor x in perfect Spanish and she'll be very surprise by my awesome and fantabulous Spanish. :)

(But first, I must go back to studying Spanish..)

I know that if there's something I wanted sooo badly in this world that would be to reach that dream. I just hope that the whole universe will conspire to make this happen.
Tonight, everything seems so magical that I feel a strong urge to blog this dream away. Usually when I write things down, they just happened. I know this won't land in my hands easily because I need to work hard to make it happen, but I guess there's no harm in writing it down.

So this me channeling THE SECRET and dreaming out loud of studying in Spain, dancing flamenco with hotties (choz), eating churros, watching soccer, and living the would-be biggest adventure of my life!

God, help me.

Since I'm somewhere between boredom and stressed out, I decided to write here, to kill time and to concretize thoughts swirling in my head in the past days. I'm afraid that if I don't write these down, they might rut inside my mind.

I like the talk of Susan Roxas in our wiki wednesday earth day presentation. I think that her brutal honesty and keeping it real vibes inspired me and made me feel that she's really genuinely concern about the environment. I actually thought that her talk is going to be one of the those preachy kinda environmentalist who tells you the do's and dont's. She keeps it simple by painting what's happening in our environment and what we can do about it. I like the way she advises not to have any children and this killer line: you are your own meteorite. She said that people always imagined that the earth will be destroyed by a massive meteorite that will fall in the sky, but Susan said we are that meteorite who destroys our environment little by little.

Thru her talk, I began to appreciate the biodiverse marine life we have here in the Philippines, the concept of sustainability and ecological footprint. Even though, the situation now is disheartening, there's still something we can do about it. Anyone and everyone should do their fair share and no matter how little it is, it still counts. Like she said, "your generation is at crossroad, it's up to you which path you will take.."

some of the takeways from the talk:

buy local- it lessens carbon footprint
everything is interconnected
patronize products that are environment-friendly

The unplanned family trip to Zambales last Monday was fun, fun, and fun. Tatay cooked our baon, we all got lost trying to find the right exit to SCTEX, I made a boy cry (which makes me officially a BULLY), we went boating to Capones island,we collect seashells, we swam, we sang our hearts out in the videoke machine, we ate lots of msgs and cookies and chuckies and liempo (thanks to ate sol, moi and moymoy), we took some pictures, we swam again, we ate again and we got lost in Meycauayan on the way home.

The day is action-packed and full of misadventures but I really had a great time with my family. Made me realized that even though, we have our own lives now, we still are family and that they're always be a source of happiness and solace.

Thank God for family :)

Butete-san (noun, adjective)

-That kick-ass AI robot slash companion slash work-life balancer with waterproof features and feedback mechanism con logs.
-His legs are build in such a way that he can traverse thru time and for other telepathic churvas.
- Users can even altered Butete-san's gender depending on their preference.

Heto yung hitsura niya:

Heto nakuha ko from Mayee:

• Shoppers panic over smoke in QC mall
  

Last time na may kaguluhan sa sm ayun ata yung may barilan tapos andun kami ng nanay ko sa Dunkin Donuts nagtago kasi nagkakagulo na ang lahat. Basta lahat ng shops sinasarado nila yung pinto nila at walang taong pinapalabas. Akala ko nun may terorista na or hostage drama na nangyayari. Kaloka.

Palagi na lang ako naiipit sa may putukan ng baril, one time nung pauwi na ako sa bahay, mga 10:30 pm na at nag-aabang ako ng bus pauwi sa may tapat ng megamall, nagulat ako kasi lahat ng tao nagtatabuhan tapos may putok tapos nakaladkad ako dun sa bus na papuntang UE Monumento. Sabi nung mga nakasakay ko may naghahabulan daw tapos may mga baril. Hay buti na lang nakaiwas. Thank God!

mga umikot-ikot sa aking isipan: plema, ikaw at ang xocolat martinis.

Matagal ko ng gusto matikman yung xocolat martinis (kaso every Friday lang ito ng 5 pm-9 pm). Mukhang pagkatapos na ng AI ako makakatikim nun kasi wala naman akong pasok every Friday. except this Friday. Sked kaguluhan. Kaso may plema ako umikot sa lalamunan, sa dibdib tungo sa baga ko. Pasaway kasi ako! or talagang panahon ito ng pagkakasakit. Madami-dami na rin kaming nagkakasakit dito at may plema.

Pag may plema ka at uminom ka nung drinks na yun magiging brown ba plema mo? maglalasang alkohol at tsokolate ba ito?

Nung Sabado, natulog ako halos buong shift sa opis kasi masama pakiramdam ko at bangenge ako sa neozeps, tapos narinig ko yung mga FMS, nagbulungan, sabi, "Ayan natutulog kakapasok lang niyan eh!"

binigyan ako ng kaibigan ko ng futsal shirt and bag from Thailand. Saya-saya. Namimiss ko ng mag-Futsal kaso after AI pa din ako makakalaro nun. Sked kaguluhan.

Sabi ko ayaw ko na munang magsulat.Pero gusto ko ng magsulat. ngayon. as in ngayon. bukas baka ayaw ko na naman.

Gusto ko pumunta dito

*image galing sa Flicker na isang tao na hindi ko kilala...

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

~got this poem here