The Poetics of an Odd (wo) Man out

It is always important to know when something has reached its end.
Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it;
What matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.
-- Paulo Coelho

Here's to reaching my dreams, good health for my family and friends, finding (and feeling) love in spite of pain, seeing the goodness of other people, happiness amidst setbacks, acceptance over things I can't change, strength to move on and courage to begin another journey...

Thank you God for another year :)

Your Colors Say You Are Caring

When you are at peace, you are: Energized and innovative When you are moved to act, you are: Giving and warm When you are inspired, you are: Flexible and experimental When your life is perfectly balanced, you are: Connected to nature and the world Your life's purpose is: To find contentment

In anything and everything else, the best remedy is still acceptance. I try so hard to be indifferent over things/people thinking that it's the safest way to go. But I'm wired in such a way that I care too much so it's really hard for me not to bother. And through time, I learned that apathy can only deepen the pain and prolong the misery. Acceptance, on the other hand, maybe me painful at first but it can help you to move forward.

Apathy kasi parang pain-reliever lang. It temporarily numbs you but the pain is still there. While acceptance, mahaba-habang proceso parang theraphy pero surebol magaling ka na after.

At the end of the day, it's better to accept things as they are, hope for the best, pray that things will fall in its right place and let go.

Let go.

Easy to say but it's really best to face things head on rather than kill it through indifference, which in the process may also kill your soul.

Image taken somewhere from the Net.

I know what I want to be and where I want to go but some thing's stopping me: fear. I guess that's the thing about getting old, you are afraid to take risks since you're more focus on stability, at least to me.

I want to pursue a career in travel writing but I know that it doesn't pay well.I want to study literature again but that not's going to land me any stable job aside from the academe. I want to do various voluntary works and feel that I'm doing something bigger than just making money but I also want to help my parents, financially speaking.

And now that I'm a year older, I feel more than ever that time is running out for me. If I don't move now and pursue my dreams, I'll be left behind. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for what I have and where I am right now it's just that I'm not happy anymore.

I remembered the character in the book, "The Alchemist" who is so good in making crystal glasses that for some time he forgot his personal dream and slowly the universe stops speaking to him and giving him signs. But eventually, he realized that even if he is okay in the crystal business that's not his personal dream.

I can feel that the universe is speaking to me.

But why am I not listening?

I've seen the signs.

I met people who show me to be brave and ran after my goals.

I know that now is the time to jump off my comfort zone and live my dreams.

But why can't I take the first move?


God, help me.

after x number of years, nakita ko rin ang ilan sa mga HS friends ko. Dati rati kasi di ako nakakapunta sa mga reunions namin dahil busy at walang pera. Pero now, thanks to myra and frich ayan nagkaroon ng chance para magmeet kami kahit pa gaano ka-busy. Kahit anim lang kami (Myra, Frich, julius, cecil, Kim at ako) sobrang saya-saya, parang walang nagbago at parang hindi taon ang binilang ng aming di pagkikita-kita.

Venue: Gerry's grill, lunch time. siyempre unang dumating ang cecil na tinambangan ako sa CR nung nakita niya na umalis ako dun sa venue. Sabi niya hinanap niya pa talaga ang kanyang salamin para lang makisigurado na ako nga yun. Tapos late-late ang drama ng ibang lola (as usual late si kimberly) hehehe.. si julius ay galing pa sa kanyang dentist gig sa SM fairview din. At dahil dentista na siya (at may bangs), binigyan niya kami ng tig-isang set ng toothbrush, toothpaste, pang-dila (di ko lam kung ano tawag dun) si kimberly naman mega-promote ng Dayo with matching pamigay ng Dayo calendars dahil yung sister niya na si katrina aka hopia ang nagboses kay mananangurl. Choz

nakakatuwa kasi naloloka kami dahil feeling namin ang tanda na namin dahil ang pinag-uusapan na namin ay trabaho, pera at kung ano ano pa samantalang dati yung crush, HWs at nakakainis na teacher lang ang topics namin. May mga revelations din tungkol sa mga kabatch namin kung ano na nangyari sa kanila. Yung iba nga sa kwinekwento nila hindi na namin kilala ni Kim..

Masaya ang tangahalian except sa ma-asukal na sago't gulaman. Grabe sobrang tamis. Then after Gerry's and some paktyur taking, nag-starbucks kami kung san nakita namin si edison (isang batchmate)..

Kahit pala gaano kayo katagal magkahiwalay ng iyong mga kaibigan, pag tunay ang pagkakaibigan at samahan na mayron kayo, walang nagbabago. Ganun pa rin. Itsura niyo lang ang nagbabago pero hindi ang iyong samahan. labyu HS friends :)

Gradskul join GK
Study abroad

more time for loved ones
lose weight
travel writing

read neil gaiman's works

buy koreanovela bike

go to Vigan, Batanes and Sagada

reinvent onself

read postmodern classics

write as much as I can

love unconditionally

driving lessons
pottery lessons

UB quest

buy star-like lamps in Gateway

wear gurly stuff and be mahinhin (goodluck)

pursue career plans

reconnect with classmates

more patience and less worry

take TOEFEL

time for self

I just told my friend to leave her no-so loyal boyfriend for good. I don't know if its the right thing to say, but i told her anyway. I even cited what Uncle Bob (from UB) said about loyalty being an important factor in one's relationship.

Pero siyempre ano bang alam ko sa love...

there's nothing more relaxing than climbing a rooftop building with a good friend and some chips and ice cream...

ang mg sumusunod ay ang mga pangyayari nung Disyembre 24 mula 10 ng gabi hanggang 3:30 ng madaling araw...

1. kainan at salo-salo with my family, Ate sol, ate kathy, ate shawi, jurgen, James liit, michelle, moymoy and family..
2. mga paputok at nabutas na bubong courtesy of my tatay...
3. exchange gifts (bunutan ng number) gusto lahat makakuha ng number 8... natanggap ko dalawang wallet...number 10
4.si joy pagkatapos manalo ng P500 (number 8) pumasok na sa bahay at di na nagpakita
5. videoke time
6. inuman tequila, red wine at san mig... ang mga participantes... ako, moy, jojo, ate sol, ate kathy, ate shawi at michelle, si tatay at nanay (saling kitkit)...
7. nauna sa tequila...second round... sumuka na...
8. sabi ni nanay, "bakit ka sumuka?" sagot ni tatay, "hindi kasi sanay uminom yan." natatawang sambit ni ate sol, "akala ko sanay ka uminom, ikaw kasi naunang tumagay"
9. after sumuka, hinawakan yung microphone at kumanta na lang ng kumanta habang sila umiinom pa din..
10. Ate kathy: "may pasok pa ako bukas ng 5 am" ate sol: "kami rin may pasok! inom ka pa!"
11. mga bandang 2:30 napagod na ako sa pag-videoke... nagsuggest manood ng movie
12. nanood ng quantum of solace.. opening credits pa lang nakatulog na.. hehehe
13. Si ate sol biglang nagsampay ng mga damit niya
14.ligpitan time
15. 3:30 natulog na kami

The company Xmas party was really fun fun fun despite the no-so delicious food servings and the cocktail drinks which, I can't even describe the taste. The venue was held in Silver city (same as last year) and the theme was Las Vegas. I didn't join any games before the party. Jerz and I arrived late (nagpaparlor kasi sabi nga ni Xtian). Good thing we didn't miss anything.

Even though I didn't won in the raffle draw (except for that FA when the host said bernadette but it wasn't really me. it was another 'bernadette') I'm happy that our department won in all the contests that night. The performances of Paulee, Rica, Inggo and the rest of AM were beyond asteeg. Armed with complete costumes, Mariah (inggo), celine (paul) and Madonna (Rica) won the hearts not only of the judges but also the audience. Pero siyempre, nakakaloka din ang performance ng small group courtesy of Ate Winnen. Grabe asteeg niya. Ikaw ba naman buhat-buhatin at ihagis ng ilan beses. Kaya nga tie sa first place ang AM at small group.

Happy din because Blue and Benj won the Ms and Mr Trend titles. Siyempre ano bang masasabi mo kay Benj, who said he wants to be a malware writer but that would be difficult because of Trend Micro... and Blue who said she wants to be Batgirl and tied it up with bad guys and Trend Micro..

Pero ang nagpaganda talaga ng gabi ko ay ang Parokya ni Edgar. Well, fan ako ng mga songs nila pero hindi nila before. But now, after their gig, fan na nila ako for life. Crush ko si Buwi. Woot~

All in all, mas masaya tong xmas party na ito kesa last year and i'm glad I decided to go.

Writing a year end review of your life is an arduous and painful task. I discovered it now. It takes courage to look back and examine the things that happened in your life especially the painful memories, which you try to place at the far end corner of your head.

Writing this could have been a lot easier if I had achievements under my belt or if all memories are good ones. Although, 2008 is supposed to be my year since I was born under the year of the rat, I didn’t get to have that “luck.” Don’t get me wrong even though I wasn’t lucky, I was blessed. So here are the highlights of my life in 2008:

Unique experiences. Last June 30-July 2, I was able to participate in the GK build along with Jerz, Gedrick and some Taiwanese students. This is something that I really want to do and still want to do next year. During this experience, I get to experience what it feels like to build a house. Even though carrying heavy cement and hollow blocks was tiresome, I felt light and good, knowing that I did something for other people. I’m also glad to meet new people (Macany, Vic, Irene, Kathy, Sabrina) whose life stories made me richer and honestly made me want to go to Taiwan.

Last October 28-30, the team underwent the Upward Bound experience. This is where I realized that now is the time to start living my dreams no matter what other people think/say. It also empowered me that I am strong and that I can do anything. The experience also helps me regain my faith in God. Honestly, I’ve been harboring some bad feelings towards God because I feel that He is so distant and silent. I didn’t realize that He is/was there the whole time I’m undergoing trials. I am really grateful for this experience for it shakes me up and push me to move forward and fly high.

FF (Futsal friends). I’ve never been a fan of football or futsal for that matter but boy I was sure glad that I got hooked to this sport. This paved way for me to meet great friends (Blue, Dex, Tristan, JC, Jay,manok, Harry and company). I had a fair share of memories both from the futsal court and out. Aside from meeting people, it also gave an outlet to destress.

From Temp to PH. One of the things that I’m grateful for is my regularization at work. Now, I can enjoy some benefits that I don’t get before and I can join company events without my boss adding my name to the list. I’ve also transferred from research to VE, which is something I wanted to try before.

Chuvas. This year I met my parallel line, my intersecting line and my asymptote. Though I didn’t meet “the one” and still a NBSB, all that I’ve experiences related to heart matters, made me rethink and refeel. It also made me (hopefully) smarter and stronger because of the pain that it caused me. I just hope that these experiences will not make me bitter and afraid of love. I also hope to love unconditionally without expectations.

Certain Firsts. This year I joined P.I.A. (Pinay in Action) fun run with Macky, Mayee, Bix, and Jerz. Though Mayee and I got lost, we saw Lino Cayetano and we asked him for a souvenir picture. Before the PIA fun run, my friends at the office joined a race in UP. I wasn’t able to join because my teeth (fresh from surgery) is still aching. I had my two wisdom tooth removed because it was impacted. Perhaps, next year, I’ll ask the dentist to remove the remaining 2 impacted wisdom tooth. Ouch. It’s the worse physical pain I’d ever experienced in my life. I can’t eat. I can’t talk. I looked like I had mumps.

Another certain first moment is during our despedida with Ordy. It was held in a comedy bar (bar uno). This was my first time to enter such venue. Good thing, the hosts didn’t okray me. Myla told me that the foreigners who sang during that night were the actually the contestants in Amazing race asia 2.

Gifts. Finally my wish to have my own laptop came true—thanks to Tatay. I named it Edward Henry (from Twilight and Time traveller’s wife characters). I also received books from Ord (pasalubong from US) and some chocolates and DQ from friends at the office.

I entitled this blog entry as Spontaneous rapture since most of my experiences (good and bad) in 2008 are brought about by my spontaneity. Although there were consequences for my actions, I was really happy I did everything. No regrets.

Sabi nga ni Paulo Coelho:

“There's a moment in your life that you feel sorry for what you've done but then that precious moment would have remained just a miracle if you didn't do what you've done.”

“Be Brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience”

The piles of skyscrapers aligned one after the other leaves a feeling of solitude. The wind as it brushes your face gives a feeling of surrender to all life's labyrinths. The city lights that flickered like stars in the dark night give hope that everything will fall in its right place. The blue river bed that runs endlessly towards Laguna de Bay serenades your soul with stillness. The breathtaking city view with its smog and noise lets you hear your own silent voice. And a good friend who listens and cheers you up drowns your troubled heart with the hand of friendship...

Thank you~

P.S. this was written last Dec 9, '08

malungkot pala ang pakiramdam kapag malamig, madilim at nag-iisa ka lang sa opis. Hindi ko nga maintindihan kung bakit nag-crayola na lang ako ng bonggang-bongga sa cube ko last sunday. Basta naisip ko lahat ng problema ko sa buhay, mga kalungkutan na nangyari at mangyayari. Habang nag-autosubmit ako, tumutulo na lang luha ko tapos hindi ko siya mapigilan. Inisip ko na lang na baka hormonal sadness lang ito. Pero hindi eh, ayaw tumigil eh. Haay...

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Pero ngayon, (saturday) kahit nag-iisa ako hindi naman ako naiiyak siguro kasi may multiply sa office (pero using FF dapat at hindi IE)

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sa pagbili ng damit pang-xmas party, ito lang na-feel ko: ayuko ng maging mataba at walang pera. kaloka ang hirap kasi bumili ng damit pero ayun nakakita din naman: purple knee length dress at nakakakita na rin akong heyborit kong sandals... kahit medyo mahal sige binili ko na.. minsan lang naman. i think.

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sana manalo si blue later at sana manalo ako sa raffle :)

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Sabi ng isang kaibigan sa opis namin, masyado daw akong idealistic. Totoo kaya yun? ano sa tingin mo?

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five out of nine sa xmas mass........ AJA~

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dahil shifting na ako... wala ng konsepto ng holiday.. may pasok kasi ako... haay.. sighs

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sana maging special yung 28

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itutuloy ko na yung plano. bow.

ito'y nakuha ko kay Justine

Kasi pare ganito daw yun. may isa daw babae na hot daw pare. pero maputla siya kasi hindi siya inalagaan ng nanay niya pare. tapos pare emo daw siya kasi nga daw hindi siya mahal ng mundo at para siyang patay na bata na galit sa mundo. tapos pare, lumipat daw siya ng tirahan kasi daw masyado daw siyang emo para sa luma niyang tirahan. sabi niya sa nanay niya "tangina mo nay gusto ko lumipat kay tay". tangina pare hindi nagalit nanay niya. sabi lang ng nanay niya "tangina mo pare wag ka magmura".


So lumipat siya sa tatay niya di ba? pagkarating niya dun sabi niya, "tangina erpat bakit maulan dito?" sabi ng erpat niya "gago "bur" months na! malamig na tangena". so nagtaka yung babaeng simula ngayon ay tatawagin na lang nating "babaeng maputla at emo".


So pumasok siya sa school di ba? binigyan siya ng truck ng tatay niya pare. sabi ng tatay niya "tangina mo sa'yo na tong truck ko". sabi niya "salamat tay".

Pagkarating niyang school tsong, may nakita siyang lalaking mukhang bangkay pero pogi. sakto. pogi pero mukhang bangkay. sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo "hot pare".



Nung chem lab na ni babaeng maputla at emo, natagpuan niyang lab partner niya yung poging bangkay. so nung tinignan siya nung poging bangaky, ang asim ng mukha nito. mukhang nandiri ata kay babaeng maputla at emo.


Sabi ni poging bangkay "tangina mo". sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo "tangina KA". sabi ni poging bangkay "tangina NIYA oh *tumuro sa teacher nila*". sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo "oo nga noh. TANGINA MO". sabi ni poging bangkay "tangina mo gago bampira ako". tapos naghubad siya ng damit at kumintab ang katawan niya kasi linagyan niya ng glitters ang abs niya kasi tigas siya at ganun na ang mga tigas ngayon na nagpupuntang emba.

So pare na in love si babaeng maputla at emo kay poging bangkay. si poging bangkay naman sige lang kasi sex din daw yun. so ayun. angshweet shweet nila.


"Eow poh... ahihihihi"

"Bebe mwahugz,..... ^^,"


So tapos nun nagpunta sila sa damuhan kasi.... alam mo na. tapos sabi ni poging bangkay "ikaw na buhay ko ngayon" sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo "tangina mo gago patay ka na". sabi ni poging bangkay "TANGINA KA".


Tapos nagsex sila

So basically pare yun lang yung mga importanteng nangyari sa buong storya. intense noh? kaya pala nahhook lahat ng tao.

Over lunch yesterday, I had this QQ moment where I said, Ako kasi hindi puno ang turing ko sa lalaki... para silang Styro... DISPOSABLE...

Now I'm in big trouble. :D

ito'y para kina Justine at Bixie (happy birthday woot~) Miss na namin kayo .. grabe one year na rin ang nakalipas since this trip.. sana maulit ulit..

Ito'y pa rin sa mga ka-chongkakels: Jerz, Jake, Miray, tin, macky, mayee, and JM at kay Bella at dun sa may bigoteng guy.. hehehe..

Thanks to Jerz, natuklasan ko ang pag-slideshow dito... hehehe... mahirap din mag cut/paste. choz.

This blog post is way overdue...

Nov 10. Isang munting despedida (chips, Magic sing at KFC galore c/o of Jason) ang binigay ng team kay Mayee. Munti kasi wala pa rin sweldo ang mga tao ng mga panahon na ito.Hehe. Ang Asteeg kasi andaming pagpapangap ang ginawa para matago siya kay Mayee. Ayun nga may pagtakbo pa kami nila Jerz at Reuben sa kadiliman, pagtakas ng baso sa pantry (na buti hindi na halata ni Mayee na dala namin sa elevator), paggawa ng kwento na kakain sa Chocolate atbp. Pero nakakaaliw kasi nahalata niya na may something dahil sa 1 lang rice ang inorder ni Macky imbes na 2 (ang press release kasi magluluto sila ng corned beef sa condo kung saan nagtatago kami at bubulagain ang Mayee

Masaya. Halos kumpleto kaming lahat. Kahit chichirya lang at spiked ice team at magic sing at kafak ang meron kami. maraming kwento. May nalaglag sa kalsada, may nakalimot sa ideology niya on KFC, may interrogation session with chachi, may haiku pa, at maraming maraming kanta ....

Ito ang ilan sa mga larawan nung araw na iyon:

naghihintay sa pagdating ni Mayee.. mother and paulee nag-aayus ng chips while macky, eric and Jake, chism on the side

mother serenades us including father

Classic mother pose

Classic Paulee pose

kantahan na~

Kainan na~ woot!

Super mamimiss namin si Mayee--ang kanyang giggles, books (yun pala yun eh) at siyempre SIYA mismo.. di bale mabilis lang naman ang three months :)

See yah Mayee~

Habang naghihintay ng susunod na VR, nabasa ko ito from Macky's blog. Naaalala ko lang bigla yung finals namin sa Theology class (Marriage and Family life) about the characteristics of our ideal guy. So ayun, inuunkat ko yung utak ko at try kong tandaan ang mga pinagsusulat ko dun... Hmmmm

1. He won't mind holding my sweaty hands (pasmado kasi ako)
2. maalagain pero hindi ako i-baby.
3. yung tuturuan akong maging matapang
4. may sariling pag-iisip at ambition sa buhay
5. mabait at loyal dapat
6. tanggap ang kabaliwan ko
7. tahimik pero kalog kasama
8. hindi maririndi sa tuwing pag-iyak ko pero yayakapin na lang ako
9. mahilig din dapat magbasa ng books
10. kayang sakyan ang trip ko sa buhay
11. kelangan ma-convince nia akong kumain ng gulay
12. maginoo pero medyo bastos (corny man)
13. slight athletic na magtuturo sa kin to try sports
14. hindi mama's boy
15. supportive lolo
16. hindi magdictate sa kin kung ano dapat isuot, klase ng hairstyle, or dapat gawin sa buhay ko
17. slight seloso
18. yung hindi ako ikakahiyang makasama
19. maka-Diyos
20. dapat may pagka-humanitarian siya
21. mahal niya ako

P.S. this was originally posted in my LJ blog :)

"Gurl, daily ka ba?" stint just ended this month as Eric and tin decided that its time for me to try a shifting sked. It's actually pretty cool going to work only every other day except that I have to wake up early. I guess I've been used to waking up at around past 7 when my sked was still 11 am. So what does shifting sked means? ...

1.more time to do personal projects/agenda
2.more time with my family
3.fix other documents
4.i can go to SSS and get my own ID
5.reunite with old friends
6.less time in the office
7.try my hands on other activities/opportunities
8. tipid sa baon (sana)
9. start my studies
10. more time to read books (woot)~

a shifting sked is an inevitable change but its something that i want to experience. It's a welcome change.

While Mayee was washing her tumblers last Friday she asked what were my plans this Halloween and I told her none. Baffled, she asked again if we're not visiting any relatives graves and I told her that my family is going to visit my lolo and lola's graves. Then she narrated that if his younger brother were alive, he could have been 21 years old now. This conversation suddenly made me remember my dead sister. If she were alive, she could have been 24 turning 25 years old next January. Actually, Angelina,(my sister's name) and I were both born on the same year. It's just that she was born January and I was born December. After she died, my mother became pregnant again after two months, hence i was created.

This just makes me wonder, what my sister is like if she was here instead of me. My nanay usually told me that if my sister were alive, I wouldn't probably been created or something. I wondered, what my sister looks like, is she talkative, modest,tall, thin, chubby,kind, friendly? I wondered, if she can make a difference and make this world a little bit better? nope. i'm not wallowing here or having self-pity moments, just plain curious. But i guess there's a reason why I am here instead of her, I believe I'm here because I have a specific role that the universe wants me to fulfill. I am here because I have to make a difference. I am here to touch people's lives. I am here because i was meant to be here.

Yesterday, tatay arrived after almost a year of being away from us.Masaya.At the office, there were free food i.e. pancit and ice cream courtesy of the halloween prize.. Woot~ busog.


Impending doom or just me hyperventilating (again). The oral exam on Saturday, which I haven't reviewed yet. Hopefully I'll pass but whatever happens whether I fail or pass, I'm still going to try and try. After the team building we had last weekend, after experiencing it, i really feel strong that anything and everything is possible. I'm starting to believe in myself again. Thank God :)

for x number of weeks or even months, i didn't play futsal. The regular tuesday and friday rendezvous was put on hold for some reason. Then one email changed all that.. (parang suspense naman ang dating...) It was Jay and JC who volunteered Jerz, Blue and I to organize the game. Of course we were surprised by this and also excited. It was then, we realized how much we miss playing this game and the futsal people. Then after recruitments here and there, sir leo's blasted futsal ad email, and some pangugulit, we were on our way to our first game again since time memorial. While we were playing, running and sweating, I'd realized how much i miss doing this. It was nice to kick some balls, to feel the adrenaline rush, to be out of breath, and to see old friends again.. There's some comfort and a feeling of belongingness in that court While we were playing, it's so natural and comfortable despite the fact that we haven't seen each other for some time. It's as though we didn't really have a long break from futsal... jc was his usual pang-aasar mode... then there's Jay who scares us.. just to steal the ball, road runner, the ever fast and good player, pao who plays like a pro, Jerz whose kicking skills and good defense earns her the title,"great wall" Blue who shot the first goal and earned the title as per JC, praktisado, Jong who wishes for cigarette while playing the game, Ryan “manok” who now uses long socks but still plays great.. lance and that other guy, whom I called shorts for some reason, whose tagged team prowess made them unstoppable..

Of course, there are new faces… harry and his friends, who plays well despite his warning that he is a newbie…. Mandy who carries the ball well, Sir Maenard “leo martinez” who plays futsal barefoot but still manages to steal the ball and shoots goals..

It’s a good thing that futsal is back for good. It gives me an outlet to release the stress especially after a long and tiring day at the office.. It also gave me a chance to be reunited with my friends.. ..

Thank God for futsal. Bow.

Sana bumalik na sina Dex and Jannin para mas masaya.

Some pix from the upcoming Twilight movie... sana Nov 21 na... :)

edward...


edward and bella...

Thanks to Mayee... I'm officially addicted to the Twilight series.. here's a sneak preview to the movie...



Thanks to Justine, karlstone and Jessa :D

Here's some Spanish words to live by and something you can use someday.. perhaps..

Te odio- i hate you
Te amare- i will love you
Cuidate- take care
Hasta luego- see you later
Adios - goodbye
estoy cansada - im tired
estoy aburido/a - im bored
Que tal? - how are you?
que te pasa - what happened to you?
callate- shut up
quiero que me desee - i want you to like me
me sangre la nariz -nosebleed (favorite ko to')
estoy chupado- it's easy
estoy enfermo/a- i'm sick
lo siento- i'm sorry
Donde vives- where do you live?
Que haces? - what do you do?

after seeing Pia's blog, I was inspired to do a small write-up on what I've learned from Spanish class every week. In this way, I can also learn and others may also learn (hopefully) from this. So here goes..

For this week.. I'll shared with you, the future tense in Spanish. The easiest way to form a future tense sentence is like this: ir + a + infinitivo. For example, voy a jugar al futsal. Translation:I'm going to play futsal.

Next: you can use the following:
Unlike in present and past tense each infinitivo ending in AR, ER, IR have different conjugations. In the future tense, verbs ending in AR, ER, IR have the same conjugation and you don't need to remove the ar, er and ir at the end, so just need to add these:

-e (yo)
-as (tu)
-a (el, ella, usted)
-emos (nosotros)
-eis (vosotros)
-an (ellos/ellas, ustedes)

For example:
hablar (to speak)
yo hablare
tu hablaras
el/ella/vtd hablara
nosotros hablaremos
vosotros hablareis
ellos/ellas/vtds hablaran

But remember this form of future tense is used to express probability and of course future action.

Here are other examples:

Creo que comere comida basura. (I think i will eat street food)
a mi me parece que leere el libro. (I think i will read a book)
Escribiremos una carta. (We will write a letter)
Beberas la agua (you will drink water)

espero que le aprenderas.

Adios~

Feel-ing:

Dahil ngarag at bangege ako, hindi ko muna ikwekwento ang istorya sa likod ng mga larawang ito. Ang masasabi ko lang masaya ako ng araw na ito kahit pa man ang dahilan ng aming pagkikita kita ay malungkot.




Updated Oct 4

Dahil hindi na ako bangenge at ngarag, magkwekwento na ako:)
Hmmm pano ba sisimulan...
The reunion Si ruth ang nakaisip ng magkita kita kaming mga "kulto" para magbonding at manood na rin ng Cine Europa. Kahit pa man lima lang kaming nagkita-kita, masaya pa din yung kamustahan, yung mga misadventures sa buhay atbp..
pekeng ticket Dahil isang ticket kada tao sa cine europa , late sina pia at kate at 4:30 pa labasan ni ruth sa office, ginamit ni shella ang kanyang creative powers para kulayan ang isang ticket para kay ruth...
ako si basya ayan lang naman ang dineklara ni ruth. babala din niya wag daw kakain sa may Dencios in Ayala Heights. Baka daw ma-Maja.
matibay na samahan Siguro kahit na hindi kami parehong group of friends nung college, masasabi ko na magkakaibigan kami at andito kami para sa isa't isa. Gaya nga ng sabi ni kate, "ang galing noh, kahit graduate na tayo andito pa din tayo para sa isa't isa.."

you know how groups of friends create a label or name to their barkada.. well.. back in college my friends and i called our barkada as the Sheep Family.

i'm not really sure who and how we thought of that name.. it just happened! hehee



wow, i really really miss them.. hope i can see them soon :)

Feel-ing:

Over lunch yesterday, Jerz asked us to list our “imaginary lives.” Here are some of lives I want to try:

• Archaeologist


• Baker


• Barista


• Book Author


• Chef


• Choir member sa UST singers


• Cooking show host


• Diver


• DJ


• Dulos worker


• Exchange student in Spain or Italy


• Feminist na mala-Spivak


• Florist


• Gymnast


• Interior designer


• Interpreter/translator sa Ms. Universe


• Linguist


• Marine biologist


• Mathematician (bobo kasi ako sa Math)


• Museum worker


• Painter


• Photographer ng nature


• Pilot


• Potter


• Pre-school teacher


• Professor


• Roti mum or any coffee and bookshop owner


• Singer na may kasamang sikat na banda


• Swimmer


• Theater actress


• Tindera sa palengke


• Tourist guide


• Travel show host


• Travel/food writer


• Volunteer sa isang malayong place


• WWE Wrestler


• Yung nagwork sa may submarine


• Zoo keeper

According to her, all these imaginary lives are attainable and it’s not too late to give it a shot. She also said that it’s important to listen to these even though it may sound silly, because these will tell us what we really want to achieve and do in our life.

Feel-ing:

If you read this journal, even if I don't speak to you often, post a memory of me.

It can be anything you want. It can be good or bad, just so long as it happened. Then post this on your journal.

Be surprised and see what people remember about you. ♥

Kinuha ko kay aki "karren" na kinuha naman kay paula..

Hmmmm

may susulat kaya? ala naman nagbabasa nitong blog ko... hahaha

Feel-ing:

something to make you really really laugh! got this from email...


1. Black Hawk Down - Ibong Maitim sa Ibaba
2. Dead Man's Chest - Dodo ng Taong Patay
3. I Know What You Did Last Summer - Uyy... Aminin!
4. Love, Actually - Sa Totoo Lang, Pag-ibig
5. Million Dollar Baby - 50 Milyong Pisong Sanggol (depende sa exchange rate)
6. The Blair Witch Project - Ang Proyekto ng Bruhang si Blair
7. Mary Poppins - Si Mariang May Putok
8. Snakes on a Plane - Nag-ahasan sa Ere
9. The Postman Always Rings Twice - Ang Kartero Kapag Dumutdot Laging Dalawang Beses
10. Sum of All Fears - Takot Mo, Takot Ko, Takot Nating Lahat
11. Swordfish - Talakitok
12. Pretty Woman - Ganda ng Lola Mo
13. Robin Hood, Men in Tights - Si Robin Hood at Ang Mga Felix Bakat
14. Four Weddings and a Funeral - Kahit Apat na Beses ka Pang Magpakasal, Mamamatay Ka Rin
15. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - Ako, Ikaw, Kayong Lahat
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - Adik si Harry, Tumira ng Shabu
17. Click - Isang Pindot Ka Lang
18. Brokeback Mountain - May Nawasak sa Likod ng Bundok ng Tralala/Bumigay sa Bundok
19. The Day of the Dead - Undas
20. Waterworld – Pista ng San Juan
21 . There's Something About Mary - May K'wan sa Ano ni Maria
22. Employee of the Month - Ang Sipsip
23. Resident Evil - Ang Biyenan
24. Kill Bill - Kilitiin sa Bilbil
25. The Grudge - Lintik lang ang Walang Ganti
26. Nightmare Before Christmas - Binangungot sa Noche Buena
27. Never Been Kissed - Pangit Kasi
28. Gone in 60 Seconds - 1 Round Lang, Tulog
29. The Fast and the Furious - Ang Bitin, Galit
30. Too Fast, Too Furious - Kapag Sobrang Bitin, Sobrang Galit
31. Dude, Where's My Car - Dong, Anong Level Ulit Tayo Nag-park?
32. Beauty and the Beast - Ang Asawa ko at ang Nanay Nya
33. The Lord of the Rings - Ang Alahero
34. Die Hard - Hindi Mamatay-matay
35. Die Hard, With A Vengeance - Hindi Na Mamatay-matay, Nag-higanti Pa
36. Lost In Space - Mga Tangang Naligaw sa Kalawakan
37. Paycheck - Sweldo
38. What Lies Beneath - Ang Pagsisinungaling sa Ilalim
39. Superman, The Return - Si Superman Bumalik, Naiwanan Ang Brief
40. Cinderella Man - Bading si Cinderella
41. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Nag-trabaho si Charlie sa Goya
42. Blade Runner - Magnanakaw ng Labaha
43. Schindler's List - Mga May Utang kay Schindler
44. Men In Black - Mga Lalaking Namatayan
45. X-Men, The Last Stand - Mga Dating Lalaki, Huling Tinayuan
46. Wedding Crashers - Mga Bwiset sa Kasal
47. The Day After Tomorrow - Sa Makalawa
48. Three Men and a Baby - Ang Tatlong Yayo
49. Catch Me If You Can - Habulin Mo 'Ko
50. A Bug's Life - Ang Buhay ng Isang Surot
51. Die Another Day - Mamatay Ka Uli Bukas
52. The Rock - Ang Shabu
53. Jaws - Panga
54. Back to the Future - Sa Likod ng Hinaharap
55. In the Line of Fire - Tumulay ka sa Alambreng may Apoy
56. Saturday Night Fever - Sabado ng Gabi, may Trangkaso
57. Stepmom - Tapakan si Inang
58. Brother Bear - Kuya Oso
59. Police Academy - Paaralan ng Mga Buwaya
60. The English Patient - Ang Pasyenteng Inglesera
61. Man on Fire - Nasusunog na Mama
62. The Horse Whisperer - Ang Tsismoso ng mga Kabayo
63. Dante's Peak - Ang Bumbunan ni Dante
64. Legends of the Fall - Ang Kasaysayan ng mga Lampa
65. The Forgotten - Ewan

Feel-ing:

Kahit pa man maulan (sa bandang Kalaw) at mainit (sa banding Buendia) ay tinuloy pa din naming ni Shella ang pagpunta sa 29th Manila International Book Fair sa may SMX Convention Center. Ikalawang taon na namin pumunta dun. Asteeg kasi~ daming libro, daming tao, daming manunulat at mambabasa. Siguro para din siyang pagtitipon ng mga Pinoy na may hilig sa pagbabasa. Maraming bookstores ang sumali ngayon taon andyan ang Anvil, Goodwill, A Different Bookstore, Bookmark, C& E Publishing, OMF, National Bookstore at Powerbooks.

Last year, sa sobrang excited ko kung ano yung makitang book hala bili na pero ngayon taon naghinay-hinay ako. Umikot muna kami ni Shella tas tinimbang kung sulit ba yung book na nakita namin. Heto ang mga librong nabili ko:

1. Kaluluwa by J Neil Garcia (favorite ko to, asteeg ng mga tula )


2. Jolography by Paolo Manalo (medyo nagsisi ako na binili ko to for P250.. haay)


3. Master and Margarita


4. LadLad 2 by J Neil Garcia


5. Prose and Poems of Nick Joaquin

Hindi ko na maalala yung iba… kelangan ko na talagang mag-Vitamin B.

Nakakatuwa na may mga ganitong event kasi nakakatulong ito upang in “instill” ang hilig sa pagbabasa sa kabataan. Gaya nga ng nabanggit ko para tong pagtitipon ng mga mambabasa ng iba’t ibang edad at estado sa buhay. Patuloy nitong binubuhay ang imahinasyon at ang kultura ng pagbabasa na sinasabing unti unti ng namamatay.

Maraming yaman dala ang bawat aklat at libro. Ang pagbabasa ay isang uri ng paglalakbay tungo sa pagtuklas sa significant human experience sa buhay ng na sinulat ng isang tao sa ibang panahon at lugar pero can relate pa din tayo :)

Heto souvenir photo:

Feel-ing:

11 September - 21 September at the Shang Cineplex of Shangri-La Plaza Mall

Film Sked

SEPT. 11 (THURSDAY)

Love Songs (1:35) 7:00 PM


SEPT. 12 (FRIDAY)

When the tide comes in (1:33) 12:00 PM
Children of the Moon (1:27) 2:30 PM
After The Wedding (2:00)) 5:00 PM
Hands Off Mississipi (1:38) 7:30 PM
Colorado avenue (2:00) 10:00 PM


SEPT. 13 (SATURDAY)

Un Franco, 14 Pesetas (1:45) 12:00 PM
Chemical Hunger (1:37) 2:45 PM
100 Steps (I Cento Passi) (1:54)4:45 PM
Latebloomer (Die Herbstzeitlosen) (1:26) 7:30 PM
Vitus (2:00) 10:00 PM


SEPT. 14 (SUNDAY)

The Paper Will Be Blue (2:00) 12:00 PM
Children of the Moon (1:27) 2:30 PM
And When Did You Last See Your Father (1:32) 5:00 PM
Mozart In China (1:30) 7:30 PM
Night Run (Nachtrit) (1:30) 9:30 PM


SEPT. 15 (MONDAY)

Hands Off Mississipi (1:38) 12:00 PM
Beauty In Trouble (1:50) 2:30 PM
After The Wedding (2:00) 5:00 PM
Children of the Moon (1:27) 7:30 PM
Love Songs (1:35) 9:30 PM


SEPT. 16 (TUESDAY)
Un Franco, 14 Pesetas (1:45) 12:00 PM
Chemical Hunger (1:37) 2:15 PM
100 Steps (I Cento Passi) (1:54) 4:45 PM
Night Run (Nachtrit) (1:30) 7:30 PM
Mozart In China (1:30) 9:30 PM


SEPT. 17 (WEDNESDAY)
The Paper Will Be Blue (2:00) 12:00 PM
Colorado Avenue (2:00) 2:30 PM
And When Did You Last See Your Father? (1:32) 5:00 PM
Latebloomer (Die Herbstzeitlosen) (1:26) 7:30 PM
Vitus (2:00)9:30 PM


SEPT. 18 (THURSDAY)
Love Songs (1:35) 12:00 PM
After The Wedding (2:00) 2:30 PM
Hands Off Mississipi (1:38) 5:00 PM
Beauty In Trouble (1:50) 7:30 PM
Un Franco, 14 Pesetas (1:45) 10:00 PM



SEPT. 19 (FRIDAY)

Chemical Hunger (1:37)12:00 PM
100 Steps (I Cento Passi) (1:54)2:30 PM
Night Run (Nachtrit) (1:30)5:00 PM
The Paper Will Be Blue (2:00)7:30 PM
Colorado Avenue (2:00) 10:00 PM


SEPT. 20 (SATURDAY)

And When Did You Last See Your Father? (1:32)12:00 PM
Children of the Moon (1:27)2:30 PM
After the Wedding (2:00)4:30 PM
Beauty in Trouble (1:38)7:00 PM
Love Songs (1:35) 9:30 PM


SEPT. 21 (SUNDAY)
Un Franco, 14 Pesetas (1:45)12:00 PM
Chemical Hunger (1:37)2:15 PM
100 Steps (I Cento Passi) (1:54) 4:45 PM
Night Run (Nachtrit) (1:30)7:30 PM
Colorado Avenue (2:00)9:30 PM


Tara :)

Feel-ing:

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Feel-ing:

Q4 came with a sudden pang of realization that it’s the last quarter of the year and yet I haven’t achieved much of the goals I set out for 2008. Some of these goals are:

• gradschool (which I’m not really motivated to do anymore)


• save money


• buy this and that


• etcetera etcetera

If there’s one thing that I can say my biggest achievement for this year, it would be the Gawad Kalinga build I participated last June 30. This is something that I really want to do and still want to do, if workload and boss permits. It’s really a transforming experience and it feels great to be able to help and make a difference in other people’s lives. Here are some pictures:






My teammates and I used to joke about this year being “the year” to finally tengo a chuva but I guess that’s something not in store for me at least for now… or maybe it eluded me when I wasn’t looking…

And since I don’t want to end this entry pessimistically, I’ll say four months is still 120 plus days and it’s not too late to still do my plans for this year….

Feel-ing:

You Are Macaroni and Cheese

Compared to most people, you are quite playful. You are a big kid at heart. It doesn't take much to make you happy. You live for simple, happy moments. You are very content. You don't try to make life overly complicated. You remain thankful for whatever you have. Even if it isn't much, you make the best of things.

Feel-ing:

This week has been the most topak-in time in my life...for some reason i've felt my emotions fluctuating from good to bad to bad to good. parang roller coaster ride. I initially thought it must be the hormones. But NOOO! a lo mejor it was cause by a feeling of dissatisfaction or discontentment to where I am right now(in my life that is). Honestly, I don't really know why I felt like this or what triggered this in the first place?

and for that reason, I decided to finally had my hair cut. I guess by cutting my hair, it'll just cut off these whirpool of emotions. Hair is memory, like Merlinda Bobis said in her novel. So chop chop hair... bye bye topaks!

But whatever it is I'm going thru, I know I need to pull myself up and grin at my shortcomings. I have to rise above and I know I will with God's help of course and with the help I'm getting from my true friends.

Feel-ing:

Ito ang gusto kong puntahan.... tara! :-)

Feel-ing:

Feel-ing:

You Are a Chocolate Cake

Fun, comforting, and friendly. You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality. People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you.

Feel-ing:

The bridge I must be
Is the bridge to my own power
I must translate
My own fears
Mediate
My own weaknesses

I must be the bridge to nowhere
But my true self
And then
I will be useful

~ from Donna Kate Rushin, The Bridge Poem

Feel-ing:

Your Personality at 35,000 Says...

Deep down, you prefer spending time alone to spending time with others. You enjoy thinking more than talking. You don't spend much time thinking about your place in the world. You are who you are - and people can just deal with that! Your gift is having a way with words. You know how to express yourself well. You are inspired by what is possible. Real life is often too ordinary for you. It's very easy for you to feel happy. You can find peace with any situation.

Feel-ing:

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few...

Re-reading Anne Morrow Lindbergh's Gift from the Sea for the second time makes me see things that I've not seen when I first read the book. It also made me think that this book is more applicable in my life than ever. One of the takeaways I got from the book is the "shedding of one's shell" or simplifying one's life. It seems simple to say, "I'm going to simplify my life" now but just like everything else, putting it into practice would be the hardest part. This reminded me of Henry David Thoreau's words, "Suck out the marrow of life. Simplify! simplify!"

I agree with her that in one's search to fill in the 'gap' or void of the soul, we desperately fill our lives with distractions aka unnecessary activities. Such activities are not really bad per se but it just clutters our heads, takes our time but never provides an avenue for self-actualization.

But what really clutters my head? my soul? Is it my work? my overflowing heart's desires, unrealized dreams? people whom I revolved my world around? extra-curricular activities? Why do I feel empty when I have so much in life? Why do I need to feel to be loved when there's so much love around me?

I don't have the answers to those yet.. I'm still on the journey on finding myself, of trying to understand my life, of finding my soul, my voice, my being. I remembered when I was somewhere in Tappan park, I told my companion that I'm going to walk maybe, makita ko ang sarili ko After treading the dark path, my companion asked, "o ano nakita mo na ba ang sarili mo?" Sadly, no. But I discoverd that I'm desperately looking for myself and that I'm still the woman-who-is-seraching-for-herself persona that I was three years ago.

I'm hopeful that one day, I'll be a complete and whole person as soon as I fill this big void here in my soul. I also hope to keep the stillness of the axis of my life in spite of distractions, in spite of shortcomings.

I'll begin the journey here and now. My first step would be reflection and time alone to think. After which comes shedding, I'll remove anything/anyone cluttering my life. Value only the essential people/things in my life. Prayer to God. In all else, He is our one true light.

God, Help me.

Feel-ing: