The Poetics of an Odd (wo) Man out

‘Di mo lang alam
Naiiisip kita
Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako
‘Di mo lang alam
Hanggang sa gabi inaasam makita kang muli

Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang pahanon
At ngayon ako ay iyong iniwan
Luhaan, sugatan, ‘di mapakinabangan
Sana nagtanong ka lang
Kung ‘di mo lang alam
Sana'y nagtanong ka lang
Kung ‘di mo lang alam

Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Hindi mo lang alam
Kay tagal na panahon
Ako'y nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon para sa'yo

Lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya
‘Di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta
Kung ako'y nagkasala patawad na sana
Puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal

‘Di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Puro s'ya na lang
Sana'y ako naman
‘Di mo lang alam
Ika'y minamasdan
Sana'y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam

‘Di mo lang alam
Kahit tayo'y magkaibigan lang
Napapaligaya lang sa tuwing nagkukulitan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Ako'y nandito lang
Hindi mo lang alam
Matalino ka naman

Kung ikaw at ako
Ay tunay na bigo sa laro na ito
Ay dapat bang sumuko
Sana hindi ka lang pala aking nakilala
Kung alam ko lang ako'y masasaktan ng ganito
Sana'y nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko

‘Di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Puro s'ya na lang
Sana'y ako naman
Isang kindat man lang
‘Di mo lang alam
O, ika'y minamasdan
Sana iyo'y mamalayang di mo lang pala alam
Oooooooo

Malas mo
Ikaw ang natipuhan ko
Di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan

Truth is staring right in front of me. It’s melancholic and tired eyes pierce through my soul as though it can see every intricate detail of my being. I don’t recall encountering Truth somewhere along this path I’m traversing. I wondered, how long it has been standing there and why suddenly it decided to stop me from my tracks.

I waited. Truth just stood there examining me with its haunting eyes. I looked down to avoid the strong gaze that leaves goose bumps all over my body. It then stretched out its long, cat-like hands, touched my forehead and showed me something—an epiphany.

The epiphany was intense, abrupt, and strangely comforting.

A quick flashback and flash forward ensued. I slowly grasped everything Truth showed me. And after what seem like an eternity, Truth walked away, smiling. Its icy voice that keeps saying, “You know what to do” lingers in my head.

I walked the long stretch quiet path until my feet hurt. It was then I saw a fork in the road, both leading to different directions. And instead of going right, I turn left.

I headed towards the unknown with only courage and a brief memory of that one surreal encounter with Truth.

This is where it all starts.

End.To.Begin.

Super masaya ako dahil natupad na din ang isa sa mga pangarap ko: ang makanood ng WWE live!  maraming tao ang nagpunta mapabata man at mapalola, pramis. Hindi ko lang alam kung sino ang kras ni lola dun pero marami akong nakitang mga-70 plus dun na tanders.

 Maraming asteeg moments dun: yung 619 ni Rey Mysterio at yung natanggal ang maskara niya (kung san kinabahan ako ng bongga), yung pag-trash talk ni Chris Jericho, paghiga niya sa rope ng ring sabay dirty finger sa audience at yung paglipad ni Jeff hardy sa ere sa kanyang kakaibang moves.

pangarap audience moment ko: yung tawagin ka at paakyatin sa ring kasama ng isang wrestler (in this case gusto ko si Jeff hardy) tapos yakap at bigyan ka souvenir shirt. Kanina may ganyan moment kaso with tommy dreamer at dun sa isang batang lalake sa ringside na may hawak na poster. naingit naman ako.

Hindi din ganun ka-violent ang laban maliban sa hinampas sa railings ganyan at wala din steel chair moments.

All in all, kahit purita amor na ako sa mahal ng tickets, worth it naman siya. And I'm happy coz I was there. in that particular moment.

 

Or maybe not.

Somewhere along this lifetime, we heard people say that everything even shit, happens for a reason. There’s a strange feeling of relief in knowing that something good will come out, eventually, in the end. It makes acceptance a lot easier. Or maybe not.

When painful things transpire, your brain keeps shooting questions at you. Endless questions of whys and hows until you get tired of questioning and answering everything and just shrugged the whole thing as experience, another-lesson-learned-for-me-send-by-the-universe.

But do you really fully grasp the lesson brought about by any intense experience? (By intense, I mean, something that takes you to the very edge of your being; something that shook and maybe even debunk everything you believe in) Do you honestly take with you lessons from experience god or just thought you did by masking it with cautiousness so that absolutely no one and nothing can mess you up again. Never again.

Until one day, the universe decides to play with you just to see if you essentially learned anything from previous experience/s. It’s all mindfuckin’ thing. You’re suck again to this vortex of events and whirlwind of emotions. Even if you know the scent of this familiar pain and the landscape of this whole experience (with its maze of possible outcomes), you find yourself lost and helpless. At the end of the day, you still dive towards the seemingly unknown terrain, not of course to learn anything but to feel the joy of being alive. This may sound ‘masochistic’ but it’s not. People choose to feel the whole pain experience because that’s what makes them so burning with life. Yes, there’s always a tinge of remorse, once in a while, but there's also an actualization, a redeeming factor (that may take a lot of time and introspection) that everything, absolutely everything happens for a reason and for that alone, we are or I am eternally grateful to the universe or to the Higher Power.

Or maybe not.

I hate the fact that I'm loveless, BF-less, and the feeling that nobody seems to think that my existence is special to say the least. There's this cousin of mine, who wants to do "reto-reto" and somehow I'm pissed. I don't know why. Maybe, I'm not yet open to these experiences or I just hate it that someone is making me feel that I'm incapable of finding my maan (mahal) thru the reto stuff. I also hate it that the guy has some sort of expectations and the vibes that he wants to see me badly and he's really interested. Why should he? He doesn't know me enough to say that I'm interesting. It's just BS.

The guy also wants to go to our house and visit me there. WHY?!!!!!! for goodness' sake. I just don't get it. It's just macho thingie for me and not respect as they often say. See, if a guy wants to go to your house that means he has good intentions. I don't think so. If there's someone I'll bring to our home and introduce to my parents, that would be my life partner, not just some random guy that my cousin introduced to me.

I'm also pissed with my cousin. He acts as though I need to have a BF now because it's not good to end up as an old maid. He thinks that being married is the greatest fulfillment in this world. Of course, I do want to marry someday but I want to achieve my dreams first and really know myself.

I do want to have a lovelife and I don't want to end up as a spinster but I'd rather find "the love of my life" on my own and through different ways. But not like this. Not now.

Image from here.

Today, I feel so happy and optimistic (which rarely happens nowadays, by the way) that nothing and no one can destroy the good mood.

***

Each time my friend Justine and I talked about our "European dream," my heart is pounding nonstop and my head is reeling with many future scenarios out of excitement for the possibility that this dream will happen in time. (soon, sana). I know some people might view this as "ambisyosa" (ambitious) pero paki nila, pangarap ko to sa buhay at kahit ano mangyari, paglalaban ko to. woot!

I'll make it happen, someday.

God, help me.

Lately, I find myself falling more and more in love with traveling.There's just something refreshing and eye-opening as you go to other places. I think it makes you aware that the world is a really really big place with various people and culture. Plus you get to learn new things not only about history-related stuff but also about yourself.

Every travel is a journey to one's self.

Whenever I read travel blogs like this, I feel inspired to spend my saved money, pack my bag and go somewhere. I already made "plans" (yes, me, who doesn't even plan anything at all is trying to plan)to concretize this dream like save money (of course), which will be strictly spend for travel purposes only, try finding affordable tour packages and lastly tumaya sa lotto (baka swertehin at manalo ako!). I also thought that I should explore Philippines first before going to other countries.

So far, in the last six months, I've only been to Zambales and Sagada. If things go well, my sister and I will go to Bohol by October or November.

Hopefully, in the coming years, I get to see more places around the globe, meet new people and learn more cultures.

The secret.......

Image taken somewhere from the net

I'm so glad Kris Allen won... normally I wouldn't blog something like this but I don't want to let this moment pass without writing it down or something. I just remembered last year, when David Cook won, I was planning to blog it until I eventually forgot it. So, I don't want that to happen again.this time.

Kudos to Kris Allen!

......with the seemingly endless zigzag road, the race to get inside Dagupan bus, the greenery scenes of pine trees and abounding mountains, the scary ravine, the 12-hour journey, the long hike down the breathtaking rice terraces, the enormous Bomod-ok waterfalls and the feel of ice cold water entering your body, the cool mist, the slippery rocks along Lumiang Cave, the various shapes of rock formations in Sumaging Cave, the rappel in between solid rocks, the whole spelunking adventure, the fear and courage felt while inside the cave,the bat shit scattered across the caves, the bittersweet taste of cat shit coffee (Alamid,) the hot lemon pie, the delicious yogurt and pasta at Yoghurt house, the hanging coffins and its culture, the church with its broken flower-shaped windows, the rusty bell near the church and its history, anecdotes behind Echo valley, bonfire tradition and the cemetery, our humble abode courtesy of George’s guesthouse, the warm and accommodating people, our superb tour guides: Kuya Perry and Kuya Enzo, various people we encountered along the way, friends who are game for every adventure (Marco, Obet, Jerz and Mark), the spontaneous planned/unplanned itinerary, every first experience and the feeling of happiness and complete freedom from life’s stresses that is Sagada.

I want to go back there. Someday...

the majestic rice terraces...

ang mga TNL na nagpasaya ng buong trip...

Every time this TV ad shows up, I feel a mixed sensation of envy and hope.

As some of you already know, I always wanted to go to Spain and study Literature there. I always imagined myself studying there,traveling, writing and very happy that I concretize my dream, which some people including my parents thought as crazy and impossible.

You see I didn't study Spanish just so I can take revenge on my Spanish prof in college who makes us sing tierra adorada and recite three different prayers in Spanish and who probably says mean things to me in Spanish when she caught me spacing out during class. (At that time, I couldn't go to the CR because I don't know how to say "ma, may I go out?" )This is usually my press release to my college friends who hated our Spanish subject because of our professor. I told them that one day I'll go back to our school and talk to professor x in perfect Spanish and she'll be very surprise by my awesome and fantabulous Spanish. :)

(But first, I must go back to studying Spanish..)

I know that if there's something I wanted sooo badly in this world that would be to reach that dream. I just hope that the whole universe will conspire to make this happen.
Tonight, everything seems so magical that I feel a strong urge to blog this dream away. Usually when I write things down, they just happened. I know this won't land in my hands easily because I need to work hard to make it happen, but I guess there's no harm in writing it down.

So this me channeling THE SECRET and dreaming out loud of studying in Spain, dancing flamenco with hotties (choz), eating churros, watching soccer, and living the would-be biggest adventure of my life!

God, help me.

Since I'm somewhere between boredom and stressed out, I decided to write here, to kill time and to concretize thoughts swirling in my head in the past days. I'm afraid that if I don't write these down, they might rut inside my mind.

I like the talk of Susan Roxas in our wiki wednesday earth day presentation. I think that her brutal honesty and keeping it real vibes inspired me and made me feel that she's really genuinely concern about the environment. I actually thought that her talk is going to be one of the those preachy kinda environmentalist who tells you the do's and dont's. She keeps it simple by painting what's happening in our environment and what we can do about it. I like the way she advises not to have any children and this killer line: you are your own meteorite. She said that people always imagined that the earth will be destroyed by a massive meteorite that will fall in the sky, but Susan said we are that meteorite who destroys our environment little by little.

Thru her talk, I began to appreciate the biodiverse marine life we have here in the Philippines, the concept of sustainability and ecological footprint. Even though, the situation now is disheartening, there's still something we can do about it. Anyone and everyone should do their fair share and no matter how little it is, it still counts. Like she said, "your generation is at crossroad, it's up to you which path you will take.."

some of the takeways from the talk:

buy local- it lessens carbon footprint
everything is interconnected
patronize products that are environment-friendly

The unplanned family trip to Zambales last Monday was fun, fun, and fun. Tatay cooked our baon, we all got lost trying to find the right exit to SCTEX, I made a boy cry (which makes me officially a BULLY), we went boating to Capones island,we collect seashells, we swam, we sang our hearts out in the videoke machine, we ate lots of msgs and cookies and chuckies and liempo (thanks to ate sol, moi and moymoy), we took some pictures, we swam again, we ate again and we got lost in Meycauayan on the way home.

The day is action-packed and full of misadventures but I really had a great time with my family. Made me realized that even though, we have our own lives now, we still are family and that they're always be a source of happiness and solace.

Thank God for family :)

Butete-san (noun, adjective)

-That kick-ass AI robot slash companion slash work-life balancer with waterproof features and feedback mechanism con logs.
-His legs are build in such a way that he can traverse thru time and for other telepathic churvas.
- Users can even altered Butete-san's gender depending on their preference.

Heto yung hitsura niya:

Heto nakuha ko from Mayee:

• Shoppers panic over smoke in QC mall
  

Last time na may kaguluhan sa sm ayun ata yung may barilan tapos andun kami ng nanay ko sa Dunkin Donuts nagtago kasi nagkakagulo na ang lahat. Basta lahat ng shops sinasarado nila yung pinto nila at walang taong pinapalabas. Akala ko nun may terorista na or hostage drama na nangyayari. Kaloka.

Palagi na lang ako naiipit sa may putukan ng baril, one time nung pauwi na ako sa bahay, mga 10:30 pm na at nag-aabang ako ng bus pauwi sa may tapat ng megamall, nagulat ako kasi lahat ng tao nagtatabuhan tapos may putok tapos nakaladkad ako dun sa bus na papuntang UE Monumento. Sabi nung mga nakasakay ko may naghahabulan daw tapos may mga baril. Hay buti na lang nakaiwas. Thank God!

mga umikot-ikot sa aking isipan: plema, ikaw at ang xocolat martinis.

Matagal ko ng gusto matikman yung xocolat martinis (kaso every Friday lang ito ng 5 pm-9 pm). Mukhang pagkatapos na ng AI ako makakatikim nun kasi wala naman akong pasok every Friday. except this Friday. Sked kaguluhan. Kaso may plema ako umikot sa lalamunan, sa dibdib tungo sa baga ko. Pasaway kasi ako! or talagang panahon ito ng pagkakasakit. Madami-dami na rin kaming nagkakasakit dito at may plema.

Pag may plema ka at uminom ka nung drinks na yun magiging brown ba plema mo? maglalasang alkohol at tsokolate ba ito?

Nung Sabado, natulog ako halos buong shift sa opis kasi masama pakiramdam ko at bangenge ako sa neozeps, tapos narinig ko yung mga FMS, nagbulungan, sabi, "Ayan natutulog kakapasok lang niyan eh!"

binigyan ako ng kaibigan ko ng futsal shirt and bag from Thailand. Saya-saya. Namimiss ko ng mag-Futsal kaso after AI pa din ako makakalaro nun. Sked kaguluhan.

Sabi ko ayaw ko na munang magsulat.Pero gusto ko ng magsulat. ngayon. as in ngayon. bukas baka ayaw ko na naman.

Gusto ko pumunta dito

*image galing sa Flicker na isang tao na hindi ko kilala...

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

~got this poem here

Kahapon nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon makilala at makasama kahit sa sandaling panahon ang mga bata sa Asilo de San Vicente de Paul. Kasama ang ilang officemates at sa panguguna ni Chris ay bumisita, nakihalobilo, nakilaro ng hephep hurray, tao-bahay-bagyo at picture frame, nakipag-usap, nakicheer, nakisayaw, at nakipagtawanan kami sa mga bata.

Sa hapon na yun, naging ate at kuya rin kami sa mahigit 37 na bata. Bakas sa mga mukha nila ang kagalakan na makita kami. Isa si Mylene at Matet sa mga batang nakilala ko dun. Si matet (11 years old) ay binomba ako ng mga slambook questions like ilan taon na ako, anong grade ko na (sinabi ko kasi 13 years old lang ako... di ko sinabi ito ay noon taon 1998 pa.. hehe). Masayahin na bata si matet at madaldal din siya kasi kahit kakakilala pa lang namin nagkwekwento siya at nakikipagkulitan. Ganun din si Ashley na nagkwento ng tungkol sa kanyang field trip at school. Si Mylene naman, 16 years old ay dating tumira sa may Maligaya (isang lugar malapit sa'min) kaya medyo can relate kami sa fairview stories.

Nag-umpisa ang hapon sa 'cheering competition' kung saan pinakita ni JM at ng group three ang kanilang natatagong talento sa pag-move it move it.. Matapos ang cheering naglaro naman kami ng mga games. Mayroon din hephep hurray game kung saan una akong nasibak. Tapos tsibugan at marami pang kwentuhan...

bago natapos ang hapon, dalawang sayaw ang inihandog ng mga bata sa'min. Umawit din sila ng thank you and nagpasalamat samin. Natouch ako dun sa sinabi nung isang bata, na kung gaano namin sila napasaya at nagpapasalamat siya na kahit gaano kami ka-busy ay nakapunta kami sa Asilo. Sinabi pa niya na kahit isang beses lang namin sila makakasama ay habang buhay na kami magiging parte ng buhay nila.


Sa totoo lang, ako pa yung napasaya at na-touch ng mga bata sa Asilo. although siyempre sana din sa maliit na paraan ko ay natouch ko kahit papano sila. And kahit ilan oras ko lang sila nakasama, masasabi ko na magiging parte na sila ng buhay ko.

Isang learning experience ang Asilo lalo na sa tulad ko na may qualms sa world at sa buhay buhay. Na-realized ko na dapat kahit anong mga pagsubok or estado ko sa buhay, dapat lagi akong maging positibo at may pag-asa. Ayan ang tinuro sa kin ng mga bata. Kung tutuusin sila pa ang may karapatan maging abs bitter herbs sa buhay pero pag nakita mo sila, mararamdaman mo na sobrang positive at masaya sila.

Nakakatuwa sila kasi sobrang grateful sila sa aming pagbisita at talagang winelcome nila kami at tinuring na parang ate at kuya.

Sana makabalik pa ako sa Asilo :)

PS Salamat kay Chris na nag-imbita samin.. next time ulit :)

after x number of months of waiting, x VRs processed (katas kasi ito ng holiday pay), and pagdarasal na yung makabunot sa kin ay regaluhan ako nito... ay nakabili na din ako ng KOREANOVELA bike. Ansaya ng pakiramdam. Super excited ako kasi antagal ko rin inasam asam ito..

binili ko yung bike sa Raon kasama ang nanay ko. color red yung bike. naisip ko kasi yung tatay ko eh. hehehe. basta nung nakita yung bike may parang music na "starira stadirara" tapos naimagine ko agad ang sarili ko sa bike na yun kaya ayun ang binilli ko. hehehe

wala pa akong naiisip na ipapangalan dito. siguro KB as in koreanovela bike since ganyan ang katawagan ko na. Yung tindero ng bike sabi lady's bike daw yun tapos yung nag-assemble nung bike (na nagsabi rin na maiksi yung binti ko dahil hindi ko abot yung sahig pagsakay sa bike) ang tawag dun ay chinese bike..

after ma-assemble ito ni-road test ko na siya sa subdivision namin. may nagsabi sakin, "wow parang sa pelikula lang ah" may ilan din napatingin,... hahahaa choz.. basta masaya ako.

I'm having difficulties comprehending what my spanish teacher is talking about more than ever. In fact, out of 50 words he spoke, i could only grasp 5 words.. hahaha.. .. maybe i should work extra hard and study more if I really want to learn the language.

My spanish teacher who looks like young santa ( as per cha) really speaks fast and he never attempted to explain anything in english.. huhu.... today we had this activity, where we had to list down what amparanoia (spanish indi band) is saying in the interview. While watching the video, I was doodling something on my notes... well more of FLAMES.. then my classmate looked down on my notes and noticed it. He grinned and sort of nudge me as if to say, "ano yan ginagawa mo" syempre, nahiya ako... he thought i was doing the activity seriously since it looked like I was writing something... but NOOO... flames pala to.. kaya naman when teacher is asking what amparanoia said... my mind and notes are like NADA...
focus badette!

kung hanggang tula lang ako
richard r. gappi

Puting lapida itong pintong papel.
Tuwing dadalaw ka, nagkakapangalan
ang pangungulila, nahahawi
ang mga agiw na napagkit sa mga ukit.
Tila umiingit na bisagra ang mga salita
kapag pinatutuloy ang mga ito;
sumisilip naman ang matalas na sinag,
tila balaraw na nilalaslas ang dilim
na nakalupasay sa sahig.
Minsan, nagmumulto ang puntod.
Pinangangatog ang tuhod.
Ngunit muli akong ipapanatag
ng katotohanang nakapinid na
ang ngiti ng lugod,
nakahimlay na ang damdaming
nagpatibok sa puson.
Sa ganitong tagpo, lalong
lumalawak ang giwang ng pinto.
Sapagkat sa bawat katok ng mga salita
nauulinigan ko ang iyong
mga impit na halinghing at bulong;
sa bawat tulos ko ng taludtod,
pumapatak sa diwa ang malalapot na gunita;
at kapag naitundos ko ang imahen,
nakukuyom ko kahit
ang balangkas ng iyong anino.
Kaya unawain ako
kung ito lang ang kayang gawin.
Sapagkat tula lang ang naaangkin.
At dito ka lang nagiging akin.

Nakuha ko from Jpaul

Nagulat ako sa comment ni Jay sa'kin nung futsal last Tuesday, "det wag kang matakot sa bola.. isipin mo na lang backdoor yan!" eh sa totoo naman hindi ako takot sa bola. oo sige na nga aaminin oo takot ako sa bola or sa anything na makakasakit sa kin.. duh! siyempre masakit naman talaga ang masaktan. pero paminsan minsan kinakailangan matamaan ng bola sa kalagitnaan ng laro at masaktan para tumibay ka at para matuto ka hindi lamang ng pag-ilag moves kundi umisip ng paraan kung pano mo haharapin ang malakas na hagupit na bola.

wala ng multiply sa office. Blinocked na ulit nung mga taga-IT samin. natunugan ata na panay ang pag-update namin every shift. nalungkot naman ako...wala ng libangan..

isang nakakaaliw na ideya na narinig ko today: palay na nga lumapit sa manok, tinangihan pa...

naalala ko tuloy yung sinabi ni JM dati, mas madaling mahuli ang manok pag nakatali.. o di ba wala na tong sense pero wala lang...

nakakita na akong cheaper version ng koreanovela bike sa raon kahapon.. hmmm mas mura ito ng P400 kesa dun sa nakita ko sa sm fairview at mas maraming colors.. sabi ko sa tatay ko bibilhin kong kulay ay purple para mahihiya siyang gamitin.. hahaha.. sagot ng tatay ko: "eh sprayan ko yan ng itim" (ayus noh)..

nakapunta na rin ako sa wakas sa bookay kung san bumili ako ng isang isabel allende buk at bracelet na unique (i think) dami dun asteeg na buks na guato kong balikan someday..

sabi ko kay ar, wag na magpasalubong ng panyo kasi nung last year ayun yung pasalubong niya tapos katakot takot na luha at malas ang inabot ko (oo supertitious ang lola mo) kaya now binigyan niya ako ng walley... thanks arleggy :)

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller! In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart. You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. You break a lot of hearts. At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do. You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist. How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused

When I opened my multiply account this morning, I couldn't access it because of it was {BLOCKED} again. Hay sighs... I was even planning to upload pictures this weekend here..

Some good things never last and this is one of them...

Pero siyempre nung kinahapunan na

Hindi na ulit {BLOCKED} siya... woot kaya heto ako nakakapag-blog...

I'm sure darating din yung time na permanent na tong mawawala pero til then... multiply lang ng multiply... wag lang papahuli.. choz

Noong Sunday, sinamahan ako ng ate ko na tumingin ng koreanovela bike sa may SM. Sa kagandahan palad nakakita ako na kulay blue na sinakyan ko pa para ma-feel if dizzizit na nga.. pero nag-disclaimer ako dun sa may kuya at ate tindera dun na hindi pa ako bibili kasi wala pang pera.. grabe natuwa ako kasi nakakita ako ng gusto kong bike kaso lang nga medyo mahal.. ang budget ko lang kasi atlis 2.5K. Naisip ko na tumingin na lang sa ibang bicycle shops sa may amin or di kaya sa raon kung san mura yung bike. Yung tatay ko nag-suggest na motor na lang daw bilihin ko.. (kamusta naman!) hehehe..

Today naman natapos ko na ang spam beat.... woot tapos dumating na din si jerz (from the land of durian) na nagbigay sakin ng 3 Bob Ong books. Super natuwa ako kasi sa totoo lang, wala akong buk nun at hindi pa ako nakakabasa ng any Bob Ong buks ( o kamusta naman)... hehehe ..

Thank you Jerz :)

After giving up on convincing my sister to watch Tanging Ina Niyong Lahat, I decided to watch the German film, Run Lola Run. The movie explores the concept of people's actions/decisions leading to different consequences and realities. Basically, it's about the story of Lola who tried to save her boyfriend Manni from impending doom by getting 100,000 marks within 20 minutes. At the onset of the film, Lola was late for her 'appointment' with Manni because her scooter was stolen. Due to that, Manni took the subway along with the money (he needs to deliver to some crime lord), which he accidentally left and pick up by a bum. And this is where all the 'running' begins...

The movie consists of three runs and always re-begins on the part of Manni-Lola's telephone conversation at 11:40 am.Three runs that results to various endings. I like this movie since it makes you think and it engages you in a 'dialogue' of sorts. The style of narration and use of still frames to tell what will happen to the people that Lola passes by are really innovative. Asteeg!

I was thinking, what if on the third run, the bum shot Manni when Manni gave his gun in exchange for his bag of money or what if Manni got killed by the crime lord since he lost his money. Something tragic. It reminds me of Orpheus and Eurydice or Romeo and Juliet... what if these tragedies had many runs perhaps it wouldn't end so tragically?

In life (eto yun eh), there are moments when I wished I could be lola and just shout, "STOP" and everything will re-start again. Don't get me wrong. I've learned to appreciate my past as something that molds me to become the 'me' now. It's just that there are rare happy moments that I want to relive and replay again and again...